Relationships
Secure Attachment Is a Practice
Attachment style is a description of current behaviour, not a permanent diagnosis.
Dr. Owen MarshJuly 30, 202611 min read
Longitudinal research suggests attachment patterns shift meaningfully across adulthood, usually through relationships in which repair is reliable rather than rare.
Repair Over Avoidance
Couples who do well are not the ones who avoid conflict. They are the ones who return to it within a predictable window and close the loop.
Naming the Bid
Most conflict is a bid for attention wearing an argument as a costume. Naming the underlying bid defuses far more than winning the argument ever will.
Standards Versus Control
Standards describe what you will do. Control describes what she must do. The first builds respect; the second erodes it slowly and then all at once.